January 12th, 2014

On the way to the airport in Denver, I made a quick pitstop in good ol' Laradise. I would have to leave town at 3AM in order to catch my Denver-Seattle flight.

After having dinner with my sister and Miss Lindly at McAlister, I dropped Margot off at Kylie's and headed over to Joe's.
I honestly forgot how much I loved this town. We didn't even do anything special. It was just friends shooting the shit, listening to great music, and drinking beer.


Every time someone new would walk into the party, everybody would yell "HE'S GONNA DO ONE, HE'S GONNA DO ONE!!"
The newcomer would then usually proceed to do a "depth charge." They would lay on their back, on the floor and cover their eyes with their hands. As they open their mouth, a trusted volunteer (make sure they are indeed trustworthy) would start a count down, at the end of which he would pour, in equal amounts, vodka and soda into his friend's open mouth. The victim would then sit up, usually slightly gagging and teary eyed, to the crowd cheering him on and chanting "HE DID  ONE, HE DID ONE."

It's essentially water boarding with vodka. If we don't do this, the terrorists win.

However, sometimes, the depth charge takes a turn for the hilarious. At one point early in the night, Schlidt lays down to get depth charged by none other than Dan "The Dan" Marken. Instead of pouring the drinks into Schildt's mouth, Dan pours all of the vodka into his eyes, then laughs maniacally as Schlidt stands up with burning, puffy red eyes. Dan starts yelling like a Sasquatch, while victoriously fist pumping.

We would also scream the chorus to the Drake song "No New Friends" everytime one of our friends came in the door. It was funny until people walked in that no one seemed to know and we screamed "NO NEW FRIENDS" at them. 

After going to Lovejoys and the Buckhorn, I go to sleep at 1:30am. Wake up at 2:30am, and leave Laramie at 3am.

I am now waiting for my flight to begin boarding. Feeling tired, it will help me pass out in the airplanes I'll be calling "home" for the next 28 hours.

I'm confident the next 4 months will be awesome. I want to go to a Thai chicken kickboxing match while I'm there. I hear their cocks are crazy and fight to the death. I would also like to get certified to dive, that way by the time I make it to Australia, I can check out the Great Barrier reef. Joe told me that bungee jumping is terrifyingly great, and since I'm scared of heights, I will probably have no choice but to try it.

Jabo has booked his flight to come meet up with me! He gets into Phuket on February 27th, and then goes back to work  in Saudi on April first. His return flight leaves from Tokyo, so the only thing we need to make sure of  is that we are in Japan by April 1st...

I'm still convincing Swade to come meet me for 14 days in Thailand in February for the full moon party. Not only does he have about 3 months of vacation saved up, but he has a job, enough money,  but he SAID he would come. A man is only as good as his word. And his packhorse. A good man with a bad packhorse, is  no  man at all. I would like the internets to consider this my official calling out of Swade. Besides, Swade and I have managed to go just about everywhere else together, Washington DC, Cancun (twice), Paris, Marseille, Vegas (3 times), LA, and Dallas, so why should Thailand be any different?! If he doesn't come, he is an immature stupid poopoo face.

Here's the text message conversation Karik and I had this morning as he was doing the walk of shame:

A farting horse is a healthy horse. That's my motto.... Well, that, and everybody Wang Chung tonight.

Boneef, out.