Mexico City, Mexico

January 1st- Jan 5th
Miles traveled: 3,618

***

Songs of the week: 
Smells like teen spirit- Nirvana
Heart shaped box - Nirvana
Sound of da Police - some Jamaican sounding dude
Turn down for what- DJ snake ft Lil' Jon

Months ago, before the great layoff, Neil and I decided to meet in Mexico City for New Year's. We hadn't seen each other since right after the 4th of July in Austin, Texas. Meaning it had been about half a year since we were able to properly bro-out, or as we like to call it, "be gayboiis."

People's reactions when learning about my Mexico City trip were similar to their reactions for everytime I go to that country...

"MEXICO CITY!? What do you have, a deathwish?"
Or:
"Have fun getting kidnapped."
Or my personal favorite:
"You know they chop off people's heads there right?!"

I've learned, regardless of what "dangerous" country I've been in, it's never as bad as people assume.

At no moment did I ever feel threatened, scared, or even uncomfortable. Except when we made the mistake of eating at our hotel's seafood restaurant. I'm pretty sure the "fish" tacos were actually dog-meat/human-flesh tacos. At that point my tastebuds felt threatened, scared, and even uncomfortable.

When I arrived at the airport, Neil was waiting for me with a custom sign, welcoming me to Mexico city...Here is the picture:

Apparently, Mexicans place special importance on December 31st and January 1st... for those first 2 days, ALL of the store fronts were closed. Also on New Year's eve, many bars and clubs were closed. It was sort of unbelievable that supposedly 25 million people lived in this ghost city...But we managed to find a club/bar in the party district of La Condesa. One great thing about Mexico is how comparatively cheap everything is. At the club, we were able to get VIP bottle service for about 900 pesos, or roughly $70. In comparison, each bottle in Vegas clubs is $850 USD.

There are not many surviving pictures of New Year's eve, but here is Neil the next morning. I call it, Hungover Neil con Human-Tortilla.

Since there were not many white tourists the 5 days that we were there, Neil and I stood out. We were pretty hard to miss, almost a foot taller than everybody else. Turns out Mexican ladies love Americans. Neil speaks Spanish, but I had to play the strong silent type card. I would remain mysterious and every once in a while would say a pre-memorized phrase like "para continuar en español, oprimo numero dos." They seemed to think that was funny.

After the first of the year, the 25million people that actually live in the city seemed to come out of nowhere. I've been in Times Square. This was more crowded. Had it not been for the fact that we towered over most people, it could have been quite claustrophobic.

There must be more beggars per capita than anywhere in the world. Mothers sit on the sidewalk while their 3 year old kids harass you by trying to sell every passerby Chiclets gum. The sadness you initially feel is quickly replaced with jaded indifference and exasperation. Desensitization comes quickly when a beggar's overturned hat is shoved into your face every 10 steps. Some street folk work for their money by performing or allowing you to snap a picture with their realistic ironman costume. The only actual annoying people are the organ grinders.  On every single block of the city, a man or woman dressed in an exceedingly fake military uniform, grinds a crank on a high-pitched musical organ. Then as people walk by, a fake military hat is aggressively thrust into their faces.

The only thing more preveellent than beggar are police officers. When I first got there, i thought there must have been some sort of impending riot, or maybe they were anticipating the end of the world. On every single block in ANY tourist neighborhoods, you will find no less than 10 officers. They have absolutely nothing to do. They are constantly texting on their iPhones, leaning on  their riot shieds. I already knew this from Cancun, but the majority of their police force is a joke.

The beggars and street hustlers aside, Mexico city is actually a really nice city. The nice touristy areas are reminiscent of a large European city like Paris or Rome.

While waiting for a friend to show up and take us around the city, we were standing in front of a nice church in a quaint park. All of a sudden, a limousine and multiple cars arrived. The wedding party started to congregate on the steps of the old cathedral. It was a completely normal, traditional Catholic wedding, when all of a sudden... Batman appeared!!! I do not mean this this figuratively. A street person, dressed as the Dark Knight, made his way through the crowd to pose with the bridesmaids. The crowd loved it, as did I. Then Superman flew down from the heavens, and the two heroes began an epic battle. SPOILER ALERT!! Snape kills Dumbledore.

We went and visited Chapultepec, Mexico City's version of central park. In the center of which stands an awesome castle/palace where the old emporer lived. The palace's gardens looked very much like the ones in Game of Thrones. I therefore picked a beautiful flower, gave it to Neil, and discussed deception and evil plots.
"Let's be honest" I told him, "this is really about you and me getting an Xbox One, everyone else is just there to get us in the door."

PAUL TIP 2: In some regions of Mexico, words of classic Mexican foods are completely different. For instance, a "quesadilla" will not have cheese! It looks more like an empanada than anything else. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Neilius and I took public transportation to the ancient runes of Teotihuacán. We left our hotel in Centro Historico at 6am and got to the pyramids around 8:30. Going early was a solid decision, we had the whole place nearly to ourselves. We even got there before the majority of the trinket hustlers. They sell whistles and jaguar calls, and then little kids run around the whole place creating more ruccus than a marching band.
You crazy kids, with your fast cars, baggy clothes and hip-hop.

We used our University of Wyoming student id's to get discount prices wherever possible.

The pyramids are incredible, and I wish we would have gotten there even earlier to go on a hot-air balloon ride. The mere scale and breathtaking architecture of the place makes one realize that the History Channel was right. Aliens built the pyramids.

The nightlife in Mexico City is quite fun. Our favorite neighborhood to party in was La Condesa. Cheap delicious carne aranchera, and $1.50 beer. Plus the Mexican ladies love the gringos.

Mexico is awesome. The people are friendly and everything is cheap. WOOP WOOP, IT'S DA SOUND OF DA POLICE.

I leave for Thailand on Sunday. 6 days. The anticipation is real.